Ways to Become a More Authoritative Parent. We all want we could be the perfect parent, but none of us will ever succeed in that endeavor. We will occasionally make parenting blunders, regardless of how many parenting books we read or how smart we are.
What Is Authoritative Parenting?
A parenting approach known as authoritative parenting combines strong standards with a lot of warmth and affection. There are also additional parenting philosophies that are seen as different sorts of authoritative parenting, such as mindful parenting and gentle parenting.
Children raised by parents in positions of authority are more courteous and responsible than children raised by parents in other parenting methods. A great tolerance for emotional expression also characterizes authoritative parenting. Children of forceful parents learn the value of emotions and that they should not be afraid of them, which helps them grow up more resilient to the various difficulties life presents.
How To Be a More Authoritative Parent
Many of us would love to adopt this parenting approach because it produces emotionally stable and responsible children. That is easier said than done, like many other things.
This sophisticated parenting approach is made simpler by these 20 techniques to be more authoritative. Don’t feel compelled to put any of these ideas into practice at once. If you start small and take it gently as you go toward higher goals, you’ll be more successful.
We advise focusing on TWO of these issues. Once you are at ease with those two, pick two more things you can work on. If you keep it up, you’ll soon become a masterful, authoritative parent!
20 Ways to Become a More Authoritative Parent
Give warmth and unconditional love.
We are aware that you adore your children. But do you consistently display it? Children want warmth and nurturing on a basic level. Perhaps demonstrating your love for your children in a way that they will understand is more difficult for you than actually loving them.
Determine your child’s love language to learn how they prefer to receive love as well as what that language is. Perhaps they cherish the time they spend with you. Or perhaps they enjoy being rocked or singing to. Learn what their preferred method of receiving love is and make an effort to express it to them.
2. Be Present for Your Kids
Being THERE for your kids is one of the most crucial aspects of being an authoritative parent. We are aware that occasionally you won’t be physically available due to work or other commitments. But be present when you are there.
- Put down the phone.
- Lay the book you’re reading down.
Pay attention to your relationship with your children. Play a game with them or just talk to them for a while. Their perception of your concern and the fact that you are constantly available will be aided by your presence.
3. Spend Time Having Fun
All of us could find more time in our schedules for enjoyment. What better method to create extra leisure time than to involve your children? There are many ways to enjoy the time you get to spend with your kids, whether you’re lounging around the house or going on an adventure!
4. Give your kids household responsibilities.
The importance of teaching your children responsibility cannot be overstated. Children should be assigned chores that they are accountable for performing starting at a very young age. Make sure your children have jobs that are suitable for their ages. Give them the proper instruction and take your time. Regular chores at home teach children responsibility, time management, and practical life skills that they will use for the rest of their lives.
5. Include your children in making decisions and rules.
The majority of parents understand how crucial it is to set up clear guidelines and boundaries for their children. But have you ever thought about involving your children in the formulation of the rules? According to authoritative parenting, doing so will help youngsters develop their ability to solve problems and will also strengthen the bond between parents and children. As children get older, those whose opinions are readily accepted by their parents also tend to have higher levels of self-confidence!
6. Know your child’s strengths
Each child has both good and bad qualities. Why not concentrate on what they do really well rather than where they might struggle? Having trouble identifying your child’s strengths? Every trait has a strength and a weakness, so try this little technique.
Perhaps you have noticed your child is a little messy. Put the emphasis on how CREATIVE they are rather than how untidy they are.
- Is your child a chatterbox at school? This indicates that they are OUTGOING and EXPRESSIVE, both of which will be helpful to them.
- Perhaps you have a child that is merely obstinate. We also have good news for you there, though. Children who are stubborn can achieve a lot in life since they are DETERMINED as well!
7. Consider your child’s opinions.
When your child expresses an opinion, pay attention to it and respect it. Even if you disagree with their viewpoint, try to understand why they hold it and where it comes from.
Your children will start to feel that their opinions matter when you demonstrate an interest in them. As a result, kids will be more open to sharing their thoughts and ideas, which will help them be more successful in the future.
8. Establish rules for playtime and screen time.
Screen time and play dates are typically governed by the rules of authoritative parents. Perhaps children should clean their rooms before watching TV. Or perhaps there are designated “family only days” during the week when play dates are prohibited. Whatever the restrictions, parents should use them to instill responsibility in their children. Don’t forget to involve your children in the creation of the rules!
9. Validate Your Children’s Feelings
Every parent has witnessed their child struggling to communicate strong feelings. Having to deal with strong, unpleasant emotions can be difficult for both adults and children. Every feeling that a child experience should be acknowledged, named, and validated by their parents.
What does it look like to respect another person’s feelings? Assume your child starts to act out when they see a toy they want in the store. You could react in a variety of ways to support their strong, uncomfortable emotion. Although this is not a complete list of possible responses, it may help you come up with some decent ones. The fundamental idea: Feel compassion for your children. It matters that your child feels heard and understood, regardless of how absurd you may think the tantrum is. A simple statement like “I would be sad too” can go a long way.
10. Give Your Children Space
Every child need and deserves a certain amount of privacy. Give your kids access to their “own space” whenever possible. They may have their own bedroom for this, or perhaps they have a tiny area of the living room that is exclusively theirs. In either case, offer them room to breathe and privacy when they require it.
11. Concentrate on Your Efforts
When your children try something, pay attention to the effort they make rather than the outcome. Try stating something along the lines of, “Look at what can happen when you study and work really hard!” when your child passes a spelling exam after studying for it.
Consider the spelling test scenario in the same way. Despite diligent study, your child performs poorly on their spelling test. You could reply, “You worked so hard on this test! You put in a lot of effort, and I’m proud of you for that. Never let your child’s efforts be more important than their efforts themselves. Kids who are result-driven are more prone to give up after a setback and to take setbacks more personally.
12. Ask Your Children To Always Give Their Best Efforts
One of the defining qualities of the authoritative parent is having high expectations for their children. However, this does not imply that young people will always succeed. In actuality, it’s possible that your children will encounter numerous setbacks throughout their lives. Remind your children that you expect them to do their absolute best at all times. Be proud of the outcomes they may encounter as long as they give it their all in everything they do!
13. Encourage your children to have a positive relationship with food.
Parents with parental authority see the value of giving their children eating freedom. When and WHAT food is served, parents should be in charge. Children should be allowed to decide HOW MUCH to eat and whether they will eat anything at all. Every opportunity should be taken to introduce new foods to children, but they should never be coerced into eating anything they don’t want to.
14. Focus Your Discipline On Natural Repercussions
Allowing children to make errors and learn from them is the goal of discipline. Natural consequences are the only effective way for kids to learn. It won’t educate your child to tidy up their room if you ban them from watching TV because they didn’t. Even if they may be aware that they are in trouble, an unnatural consequence is unlikely to have a lasting impact. Here are some concepts to get you thinking about natural consequences, which can occasionally be challenging to identify.
15. Listen to your children.
Parents who are in charge understand that children need to be heard and understood. Reflective listening is a parenting skill that you may develop by engaging your children in it. Reflective listening entails hearing what your children say and then repeating it to them. This makes them feel understood and gives them a chance to explain anything you misunderstood about them. Asking your kids questions to get to know them is another method to listen to what they have to say! You will undoubtedly become closer to your children if you ask with the intention of truly understanding them.
16. Establish Firm Boundaries And Rules
Every family requires rules in order to run well. But if regulations aren’t put out clearly in advance, they don’t really help much. Parents should whenever possible be as explicit as possible with their expectations for their children.
Of course, there will be instances where a situation calls for a new regulation. This is a fantastic chance for parents to work with their children to establish new norms and boundaries. Make sure that your family’s rules are constantly apparent and that any associated repercussions are also stated.
17. When the rules are broken, issue warnings.
Parents shouldn’t expect their children to abide by the rules at all times. Children, especially small children, occasionally require reminders. Give them some wiggle room for rule breaking and minor blunders.
For instance, if your family has a rule that after school, coats and backpacks must be hung up, and your child drops theirs on the floor, a simple “Backpack!” reminder may be sufficient to remind them of the rule. Try to be patient with your children as they learn to navigate and keep in mind the norms that your family has established.
18. Where possible, let your kids have choices.
Giving your children the freedom to choose is a crucial component of teaching them autonomy. It also gives children a sense of empowerment over some parts of their lives. Of course, parents can’t always give their children free reign to decide everything.
When it’s feasible, pick a few possibilities from which you feel confident and give your children the freedom to choose one.
19. Utilize errors as teaching opportunities.
It’s crucial to control your emotions when your children make errors (which they always will). Seek to view their error as a learning opportunity rather than a problem. Kids can gain so much knowledge from their errors. Children learn that they may turn to their parents for support after they have made mistakes when they are taught with love.
20. Teach Self-Control
Even many adults have trouble maintaining self-control. Parents who are trustworthy see the value of teaching their children this ability at a young age. Parents can teach their children self-discipline in a variety of ways. Giving children chores around the house is one technique. Kids have the chance to learn time management skills when they have tasks that they are responsible for accomplishing.
Another excellent technique to instill self-discipline in your children is to teach them the value of money. Talk to your child about how much something costs and how much money they have when they see something at the shop that they want to buy. Encourage them to give it some serious thought before deciding whether to spend their money now or save it for something else. Skills that will last throughout adulthood can be developed through these straightforward methods.
FAQs on Ways to Become a More Authoritative Parent
Is authoritative parenting the best parenting style?
It is hard to remain consistent when balancing life and parenting. Don't engage in parent guilt or shame. That's not helpful for anyone. The studies are clear, however, that authoritative parenting is the best parenting style.
What is authoritarian parenting?
Authoritarian parenting. This parenting style is very strict and relies on punishment and less open communication about the reasoning behind the rules. This is what Metcalf says he calls the “because I said so” parenting style. Permissive parenting. This parenting style is lenient, with very few concrete demands or rules for kids.
Are authoritative parents a cookie-cutter approach to parenting?
You can match authoritative parenting strategies like these to your child’s unique temperament to ensure you aren’t using a cookie-cutter approach to parenting. Unlike authoritarian parents, who believe children should be seen and not heard, authoritative parents welcome their children’s opinions.
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