Rejection occurs; it’s a fact of life. The truth is that you can develop healthy ways of handling rejection. Here is what you should do in this circumstance.
Rejection is a nine-letter word that has the power to instantly transform our mood from one of rainbows and sunshine to one of complete destruction. What then can you do if you are fired? How can you develop your ability to handle rejection? There are ways, which is wonderful news. And this concise guide can assist you in navigating the many emotions that come with rejection.
Even though it’s an unavoidable aspect of life, it doesn’t go to nowhere. Instead, it’s a chance. All that is required is a change in viewpoint.
How to Define Rejection in your own Terms
Learning how to define rejection on your own terms is a huge part of how to deal with it. Being rejected frequently comes with a multitude of terrible feelings, including:
- Aggression
- Frustration
- Defensiveness
- Depression
- Grief
- Jealousy
The response that follows when faced with such a diverse range of difficult emotional experiences is frequently fairly negative. Here are a few illustrations:
- He made fun of my attire. Am I truly so ugly?
- They fired me from my job. I might not have been doing my job well enough.
- My calls to my friend go unanswered. They must have been enraged by me.
The unpleasant feelings we experience in response to rejection are frequently closely related to how we interpret what happened. You’ll notice a pattern if you look at the examples above: since event A occurred, conclusion B must be true. However, we must constantly remind ourselves that we have the power to change how we see the world around us in order to soften the impact that rejection attempts to inflict.
Perhaps there is a valid reason why your friend hasn’t responded to you yet. Perhaps you lost your job because of a tight budget. Or perhaps a coworker made a remark about your attire that you took as a slight. We frequently take things personally when, in reality, the situations and happenings that have an impact on our life have nothing to do with us, or, at the very least, nothing to do with who we are as people.
We can start to break down the challenging feelings that frequently surface when we feel rejected when we learn to define rejection on our own terms and in our own way.
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5 Dos on how to Deal with Rejection
It’s true that being rejected can be annoying, uncomfortable, and occasionally downright miserable. The reality is that rejection is a necessary part of the human experience, and we must eventually learn how to deal with it.
So, to aid you, here are five things to do.
1. Do acknowledge what is been said
When someone sends you something that almost certainly constitutes criticism or an insult, respond by saying, “Thank you for sharing that.”
Consider the scenario where the hiring manager is a narcissist and you are at a job interview. Instead of focusing on how you can fit into the organization, they highlight your shortcomings. One of the finest ways to handle job rejection is to say, “Thank you for sharing that.”
You’re not expressing agreement. You’re not even saying sorry. As an alternative, you’re merely confirming what the other person said.
2. Do Request a Second Repetition from them.
Because no one likes to be negged twice, let alone once, this may seem illogical. Consider dating as an example. Arguments and disagreements are inevitable in partnerships. And if your spouse is criticizing you for something, you should respond by saying, “I didn’t get that. Could you say it again?
They usually won’t say it again because they know you’re going to call them out, but if they do, they’ll probably backtrack and apologize for their criticism.
3. Do Recognize the Influence of “Yet”
Three letters, but it packs a powerful punch. The foundation of “Yet” is the notion that learning never ends while you’re on a journey of self-evolution.
Take college applications as an example. Many of us have aspirations of attending a particular school, but there is always the possibility of being rejected. And using the word “yet” is a terrific approach to learn how to handle college rejection; even if you don’t get in right away, you never know when you might find yourself there for a completely different (and possibly better) reason.
4. Do Stay Truthful with yourself about your Emotions.
Rejection might cause you to question your entire set of beliefs and yourself. Therefore, it’s crucial to stop and think about how you felt for a second (or a few).
One scientific investigation examined the causes of rejection pain. The researchers discovered that dealing with rejection activates many of the same brain regions that are active when you are in pain physically.
It is crucial to address your feelings when dealing with rejection, whether it be from a crush, a job, or anything else. You can then choose what to do with it after doing so.
5. Do keep in mind your “why”
A life without direction is one spent aimlessly. Your personal “why” serves as the only motivation for your presence in this world. You can take a step back when rejection knocks you down, like a bully pushing a kid into the locker, and realize that you are meant for greater.
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5 Don’ts for Handling Rejection
Being left out of a game of tag on the playground can be a sort of rejection when we are young. We may experience the realities of dating and being dumped by a girlfriend or boyfriend when we are teenagers. In addition, as adults, it might mean losing our jobs.
So keep these five don’ts in mind while you’re trying to figure out how to handle rejection.
1. Don’t React
So many of the rejections we perceive don’t need to be personal. Of course, there are some rejections that are meant to be personal jabs, but not nearly as many as we think.
They may be making ideas that strike you as tone deaf. In other words, “I just wanted you to know that your pitch was so boring so you could actually get better” or “I thought you should know you really suck at presenting, so you can maybe get some handy hints.”
2. Don’t Personalize it
Inform the person irritating you that you recognize their point of view and that, frequently, the most critical people save their harshest critiques for themselves.
Your life will not end because of rejection. Instead, it exists to aid in your onward motion. So, when someone rejects you and is unduly critical of you, remind them that they don’t have to be cruel or hateful, especially not to themselves.
Simply put, everyone is doing their best. And by giving one other encouraging words rather than harsh judgment, we can encourage one another along the journey far more successfully.
3. Do Dwell on “what if”
What if? is a question that frequently elicits unfavorable feelings.
Why not try doing it this way? or “What if I loved them more?” confines you in the past and could trigger other concerns, such as the fear of intimacy or the fear of not being liked. A further concern is “What if it goes wrong?” It transports you to a situation that hasn’t occurred (and most likely won’t occur).
As they say, as it is, so it is. Everything that happens requires patience.
4. Don’t Stop to Express Gratitude
No matter the “size” of the rejection, it can still have an effect on your sense of worth. For example, if someone rejects your request for assistance or if you are dumped at the altar. And so we come full circle to your “why.”
Gratitude is one approach to do this. In fact, research from the University of California, Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center reveal that this mindfulness practice has a significant positive impact on the brain and can enhance mental health. According to their findings, regular gratitude practice increases serotonin and dopamine levels, two neurotransmitters that are in charge of causing our “feel good” sensations.
5. Don’t Allow Rejection in
We will encounter people, situations, and events that make us feel excluded, dismissed, alienated, and inadequate whether we like it or not. It’s simple to respond back when someone deliberately tries to harm our feelings.
You acknowledge that everyone has a different point of view. But you won’t let their opinions to influence how you feel.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why does rejection hurt so much?
Perhaps because it activates some of the same pain impulses in the brain that are activated when we stub our toe or throw out our back, rejection bites are extremely unpleasant.
Is avoiding someone who rejected you advisable?
Many people believe that ignoring the person who rejected them is the best way to deal with this difficulty. In all honesty, there is nothing improper about picking this course of action. So, if you think that the best approach to handle rejection is to ignore the individual, go for it.
What are the dangers of having rejection issues?
Stress and anxiety: Rejection may exacerbate pre-existing symptoms like stress and anxiety or cause their onset. Similar to how these and other mental health issues can heighten rejection feelings.
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